Questions for a Dominatrix
Are there any questions you would like to ask your Mistress?
Find my replies below.
Any points which are raised frequently I naturally end up incorporating into my website, so make sure you read it thoroughly.
Yes, some of you bad subs and slaves don’t necessarily read my website properly before firing off myriads of emails to me, something that is almost certainly guaranteed to earn you a spank.
Mistress relating questions:
Mistress, may I ask where in Europe you originally come from?
It is not a secret and you can find the information here on my site if you look diligently. However, I chose not to reveal the actual country, because I very much enjoy making my subjects guess it from my accent and appearance when we first meet.
How long have you lived in the UK? How good is your English Mistress?
I have lived in the UK for over 15 years and take pride in my English skills – I wrote the contents of this website myself. I do have a slight East European accent which I like and never intend to change.
Is that really you in the photos and why did you not used to show your face?
The reason why I didn’t always use to show my face is because, apart from being a Pro-Domme, I used to do occasional vanilla freelance work. The pictures are of me and I am often told that I look even more attractive in reality.
Are you discreet, Mistress? Will I be able to maintain my privacy before and during my meeting with you? What happens if we meet by chance in “real life”?
Yes, my discretion is 100% assured and I will never compromise your privacy. For example, if by chance we met in real life (walking along a street, frequenting the same wine bar, at a concert etc.), I would certainly not approach you nor acknowledge that I knew you and I expect the same level of discretion from you. Likewise, I would never call you or message you, unless it was agreed beforehand or if you have provided me with contact details, and expressly said that you were happy for me to use them to contact you.
A good example of how I value our mutual privacy can be seen in the provision I make for a ‘business normal’ contact email address (alexwf-consulting@outlook.com), along with the various options I provide for making session deposits (Amazon vouchers, Revolut, Circle Pay etc.). In summary, confidentiality is both assured… and expected! Even if you might end up confessing your “crimes” to me in person.
Are your rates negotiable? Can I have a discount?
Yes, my rates are negotiable… but only upwards. Please do not even think about attempting to ask for a discount. If, after you mistakenly try to do so, I still deign to speak to you, the rate will have gone up – consider it a “fair punishment” for such insolence.
Thank you, Mistress, I know now not to negotiate, but how do I present my tribute?
A gold encased box will always be well-received, failing that a silk-lined envelope will do nicely. I also find it enjoyable to see you on your knees with said envelope in your mouth. However, you may simply give me the appropriate tribute in a plain envelope at the start of the session.
I am planning to drive. Is there any parking available near your studio?
Yes, there is pay and display parking available nearby. There are also two big supermarkets /retailers within walking distance, both of whom offer their customers complementary parking – I am sure you wouldn’t be naughty and park there without making a purchase (perhaps buying a nice bottle of red wine would appease the Fates?).
Still more questions?
Below are some more from “first-timers” bold
enough to have taken their first steps and visited me.
How shall I prepare before I visit you Mistress/before our session?
Please don’t forget to have a shower and, if the circumstances don’t allow you to do so (for example you’re coming straight from work), you can always ask to have shower at my studio. However, if you are wanting any substantial “anal play” then please do make sure you properly clean yourself before arriving and, last but not least, prepare the correct tribute.
As for the play room – Is this an official/commercial dungeon? – and – Is your place discreet, clean and heated, and do you have a bathroom I could use (I am coming straight from work and may be a bit ‘work smelly’ so if possible, could I have a shower)?
My private studio is my place and not a commercial dungeon. I do not rent it out and it is discreet, well heated in the winter and nice and cool in the summer. There is also a bathroom, clean towels and (unscented) toiletries for you to use before and after the session.
How should I address you, what is the proper etiquette?
You may address me as Mistress, Goddess, or Miss. If you are a novice, don’t panic that you might make some huge faux pas, providing you are polite and respectful, then you will be fine.
May I ask: Will the session start straight away? I may actually want it to, but would like to know beforehand.
No, our session will not start straight away unless we have already met, AND we have discussed or agreed something like this beforehand.
Typically, after you arrive at my chambers (and if it is your first time – got over your nervousness – don’t worry it is quite normal!) I like to have a short, relaxed chat.
This is a chance for us to talk about your fetishes (anything you were too shy to mention) and kink in general, for you to confess anything you have left out (phobias, secret Viagra taking, etc. etc.) and for us to get to know each other whilst you relax a little and get used to my presence.
For those with more experience and those with whom I have played before, I do offer an opportunity to go straight into the session, which may start straight at my door or even… elsewhere (I do love the occasional covert-public play session! …and have been known to do the odd “kidnapping”).
I am a shy person. Are you intimidating?
Many people are nervous before their first time with a Dominatrix and my main aim when you arrive is to put you at ease, so that you can “enjoy” yourself properly. Barking orders or demanding you use some esoteric form of address straight after I open the door isn’t likely to lower your stress levels, so don’t worry “Stay Calm and Carry On”.
Even though I can be intimidating at times, I have no desire to scare inexperienced players when they first see me. You will be surprised to see that I am a Mistress who very much enjoys training her slaves and you will learn about the appropriate protocol during our pre-session conversation.
Will you still treat me as a person during the session? Or will I be/feel degraded and humiliated at all times? What if I am self-conscious about my body, size or shape?
My approach to everything in BDSM is that it should always be – on some level – fun!
I always want the person I am playing with to leave and think… “wow I enjoyed that”.
Humiliation and degradation just like everything else in BDSM are quite specific fetishes and not everyone enjoys them – we are all different after all.
Many people who do enjoy humiliation might love “small penis humiliation”, but be sensitive about their physical appearance, for others it might be the reverse!
As such, and because I am (sadly) not yet to read all your perverted little minds (actually that might be a blessing), if you don’t express interest in these activities you will NOT be subject to any humiliation by me about your appearance.
Masochism, Marking, Pain & “Safe words”
What if I can’t have any marks?
As a general rule I do NOT mark any of my subjects without discussing it beforehand. Even if you’ve forgotten to mention that in our communication, I will always check whether you can have marks, and how long for, before we play.
I don’t like pain and I’m scared of the whole BDSM – pain thing. Is there any way to do something without pain or maybe with just a little bit to see what it might be like?
Many, in fact over half of my privileged visitors don’t enjoy pain (some dedicated subs suffer a little bit if they have been naughty or just to please me). The answer, however, is a huge YES OF COURSE you can have a session with no pain (or only a tiny taste if you wish). In fact, no reputable Professional Mistress would consider incorporating much pain in someone’s first ever BDSM experience.
Remember there are a whole variety of BDSM practices that do not involve any pain at all. You can indulge in bondage, tie and tease, edging, body and foot worship, sissification, sensation play, and domestic servitude to name just a few.
Does a safe word indicate I want to stop the session, or just tone down the activity, or will you use some other way for this?
The device I use to detect how you feel most often is your own mouth!
You are at all times required to tell me if you’re in any form of distress not caused specifically by me.
I use RED as a universal safe word.
I also enjoy using “forfeit” words which allow (for the penalty of a little forfeit play) a change from one activity to another, perhaps less testing one!
If you’re gagged, muzzled or in any other way been rendered unable to speak (apart from being tongued tied by my presence), then I will instruct you in how to signal and gain my attention appropriately (most often by simply tapping, but for example with more advanced bondage, I make use of items such as “flash balls”).
You are of course also allowed to say ‘mercy Mistress!’ at any time if you wish me to reduce any activity’s intensity, but I always introduce any new activity or sensation gradually and you will have plenty of time to adjust to and enjoy each new and exciting feeling.
My main concern is that I don’t want to end a session abruptly because I don’t know the etiquette to continue a session that is “stressing me out” (i.e. I want to continue, but may display a “novicey reaction” what happens?).
The reaction you describe almost never occurs with an experienced Mistress. If you do get “stressed” for whatever reason (anything from it being too mentally intense to unintended cramp – definitely the “wrong” kind of pain!) then you should simply let me know and I will take the appropriate course of action. Once the issue is resolved, we may go back to where we were and continue, or we can stop – it all depends on how we both feel and on the nature of the problem.
An example: a sub of mine was worried during the session that his wife was going to call him – he forgot to inform her that he was busy and, rather than telling me that he would like to make an urgent phone call, he got very stressed.
Eventually, I had to stop the play and ask what the problem was. Once the matter was dealt with (he went out and made a private call) we went back to playing and had a great session.
